MOVE YOUR ASS

Because you’re so patient when I take a while to post recent shows, I have a gift for you. Here are two episodes of the limited-edition program that we aired exclusively during the summer of 2011. If I could find the dern program guide for this landmark era, I would reproduce the show description for you here; alas. In a nutshell, Move Your Ass was a show in which DJs encouraged listeners to nurture their health by following along with workout records. It was a 30-minute show that aired on weeknights, Monday through Thursday. The show has been discontinued and will be missed…but by now we’ve built a respectable “fitness” section in our music library…! Freeform radio at its finest.

This show aired during the first week ever of Move Your Ass and features helium balloons. The health disclaimers herein became recorded intros and promos for the program during the summer. Jen Johnson (of “It’s Hot In Here” fame) and I tag-teamed this one. Some choice moments: “Why can’t they afford a full-size leotard? Or a full-size child?” “It’s really hard to go to your work when you’re sweaty all the time. I should know.” Put the snippets into context by working out with us–

(30 minutes)
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This other show aired later, after Jen had hurried off to Uganda to be eaten by crocodiles. I was left to my own devices, which included a maximum strength weight loss subliminal tape program, Jewish stretching, a toy monkey, double the Bonnie Prudden, and more. By listening, you can discover what the high-pitched squeaking of Mickey Mouse sounds like when the LP is sped up to 45 rotations per minute (that does the trick when there are no helium balloons floating around). This episode of Move Your Ass is dedicated to the kids. including those that are not yet born. the belly babies.

(30 minutes)
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May 25: jazz?

An exploration into jazz and categorization.

Some of the music you’ll hear is not classified as jazz in WCBN’s music library, but I propose that it could be considered jazz.

Some of the music played during this show is filed on the jazz shelves in our library, but I might argue that it doesn’t necessarily belong there.

This installment of Break Your Radio asks you to ask yourself, What is the fundamental nature of jazz? For two hours, I play records and the devil’s advocate about defining jazz, and, by implication, defining anything at all. How useful are definitions and classifications?

This show contains a two-way larry featuring Billie Holiday! Along with the first and last part of the story “Rumpelstiltskin”. The moral of “Rumpelstiltskin”? That naming something equates to killing it.

“Whoever names me destroys me, you know!”

(2 hours)
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May 18

This show begins with sounds, which isn’t a shocking surprise until you hear the tree hyraxes, colobus monkeys, rhinos, humpback whales charging a boat, and more humpbacks.

The cage of hidden musics is a treasure chest into which I dip my fingers and pull out silly songs and lots of folk music in the form of guitar virtuosos.

Have you ever heard Nirvana on vinyl?? I hadn’t either, until I played it during this show! It’s so much richer! more nuanced! more personal! Whatever, it’s Nirvana on vinyl!

(2 hours)
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In the early 1990s, that would have been a silly question. Imagine that.

May 11

It’s tough to describe this show in a nutshell, because a nutshell is too small. What we can do is review the types of things that you’ll hear here (that here you’ll hear):

Weirdly electronic and non-electronic rhythmic and non-rhythmic instrumentals and non-instrumentals

Music from around the world–
– Thailand
– Africa
– Spanish-speaking countries
– Czechoslovakia
– France
and more

A sea lion, elephant, seals, and geese

(2 hours)
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Trip on that!

May 4

A highlight of this show is a sermon delivered by the Reverend Jasper Williams. It’s called “I Fell In Love With A Prostitute”. I tried spinning the record backward to see whether there were hidden messages from Satan (or, for that matter, God or Jesus or someone of such stature), but there weren’t. Not in the section of the record that I explored, anyway.

Do you know someone named Thelonious? I can’t imagine that anyone would use the full name “Thelonious” to address their friend. How would you shorten “Thelonious” to lighten the load on your tongue? One phoned-in suggestion for Thelonious Monk’s nickname was Tho-Mo, which pleased me greatly.

This show concludes with a scaaaaary stooooory.

(2 hours, 45 minutes)
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